i'm exhausted and uninspired, currently overwhelmed by the clutter in my house and the sheer amount of work that must be done between now and monday at 9AM.
but i have a huge-ass bottle of water and i just took half a vicodin for my shoulder. i'm in the midst of major boot-strap-pulling and have just decided that i'm going to get this place clean by two (giving me an hour or so to "kick it into high gear" as mom used to say).
it has been a terrible string of months. though i'm mourning, it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself. the broken foot, broken clavicle, burst eardrum, papa's death, the violent rift b/w me and my family, disappointment at work...
i have an incredible network of support. i just got to spend a weekend with several thoughtful, hilarous men (though it's easy to think of some of them as boys ;.) discussing theology, volf and rorty and meaning and derrida.
when i was in need my friends and family came through for me. my younger cousin karl very graciously swapped cars with me since i can't drive stick w/ this shoulder (and kel was more than willing to rush in and reacquaint herself with a five-speed if necessary). bethy brought me crutches when i broke my foot. leah carted me to the doctor more times than i can count (i think her car and i are in stiff competition when it comes to breaking down physically). bran is, well, you know, bran. mel, d-n, UM, aunt jac and others have been a net of support that can't be summarized.
this isn't an exhaustive list. the rudds managed to get me to the doctor after i broke my foot, even though their car died just one day before. my friend and co-worker yara has been sweet and sympathetic at the most difficult times. my brother was in town when i broke my clavicle and did his share of driving (and dishes)....
i guess what i mean is, it isn't all so bad.
the only thing i've really lost is papa.
everything else will work itself out.
i have hope that things will heal. my shoulder. my family. in the meantime i'm in a sling constructed by those who love me, the honest cursing bump-shouldered me with a filthy house and all.
i can do something about the house. too bad you all aren't here to watch the one-armed woman sweep....